"X-Ray Mind" 2002-09-30 - 11:28 p.m.

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well

I don't know what to say anymore.

my life now consists of two states of being: Facing my problems, and hiding from them

My need for a job is getting harder and harder to repress, but there's nothing I can do; most places are waiting for the first of the month to look at applications, and God knows how long it'll take them after that. Admittedly the first of the month is only hours away, it could possibly be here by the time this is posted; I'm not sure how many days there are in the month/what day it is now.

The drummer didn't call.

That's bad in that he didn't calll;

but good in that it buys me an extra day to figure things out with Robyn.

Admittedly I didn't do shit, but it's the thought that counts.

As far as the band I don't know if she still wants to play or not;

I've been in a band with people I'm not close to before.

Either way I still don't know where I/we stand on our friendship.

I have no idea what to say to her

well, other than "I'm sorry" but I doubt that would cut it

and other than some choice curses I doubt she has a much better idea of what to say to me.

But I was able to avoid that today.

Lose myself in the Law & Order marathon they have every monday; and then run off into GTA 3.

I wish I really was in that game.

Just go around whacking people for the mob; not saying anything; not hurting the people I'm close to.

*sigh*

And why can't we not be sober?

I just want to start this over

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