"Too much horror business" 2002-09-01 - 3:02 a.m.

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Before you read this, you should probably go look at the last entry, there's a jewel of importance/deepness amongst the sea of shallow.

"Holiday in Cambodia" by the Dead Kennedys is a good song, I recommend it.

The reason I chose to add this entry is because something unique has happened. An anomally has occured in the fabric of what is accepted as normal. For the first time in a long time I got scared, really and truely scared, by the very horror-entertainment I embrace. Tonight Silent Hill 2 scared me in a way that was no longer fun. Like when "screwing around" turns into date-rape. Allright yeah, I'm sure it's not that serious but it's an apt analogy, even if the scale is off. See, half way through the game you go from the very disturbing, screwed up Sober-video world of Silent Hill; to the beyond distrubing, nightmarish Jacob's Ladder-trip out-sequence world of Silent Hell. And I just got there. It's already much more disturbing in environment, your flashlight isn't as powerful, and the enemies are tougher. And since the transition occurs in the hospital there's still nurses. They're just some weird goldish-brown color instead of grey. Now, one of the main drawbacks of the ultra-realistic graphics of the game is that the camera is like a free-floating entity that has to fit into where it can see you, and when you enter a room, it can't fit between you and the wall, so you end up staring at yourself instead of in front of you where you need to see. Where I'm going with this is that I walked into a room in Silent Hell where there was a nurse, and since the camera was looking at me I had to move it around to see where to shoot. Now this resulted in a really good close up of the nurse, which I held for a few seconds longer than I should've. The nurse didn't get to me but I stared at it longer than I should have, and freaked out. Normally I'm pretty cool about enemies, one shot they're down, second shot they're out. Well this time I shot it once to put it down, then just kept shooting. It took me a few seconds before I calmed down and just stopped firing. The point of this probably boring story is that it crossed the line from fun-scary to just plain scary. It's gonna be hard as hell to get myself to try and play it again, and probably much harder to try and sleep tonight. I'll just take a few more sedatives than is probably healthy. I apologize for how boring this probably was, but this was pretty serious for me; it was like a child being pricked by their favorite toy. My horror actually horrified me, it's a serious experience. Ah well, tomorrow will have music and laughter and Iggy Pop(maybe). Get some sleep.