"Hard to Explain" 2002-08-25 - 6:35 p.m.

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I knew what I said at the beginning of my entry last night would hurt people. But I said it anyway. That was what all those entries where I complained about other people's entries was about. That was why Raven re-emerged. That was where a lot of my problems came from for a while. But everything they're saying is something I've said before. Over and over. I went through it, but now I have to watch them go through it. And now they get resentful when I comment about it. I don't know. I'm concerned for them, but at the same time, it's like watching a replay of the pain I went through, only with different people I care about going through it. And when I tried to help Steph, tried to tell her I understood, all she did was tell me that I didn't understand and couldn't help. So now sometimes I just slip into complacency, just accept the fact that I can't help. Even though it seems like with Robyn I can. But I'm set in my ways. So now the reprecussions of my fucking up before are causing me to fuck up now. I don't know. I'm sorry.

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