"My Name is Mud" 2002-08-20 - 7:43 p.m.

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I'm going to do something I usually don't do that I should for once: Talk about Robyn first. I've done exactly what I was afraid of doing with all those entries; make her feel like she's not as important to me as other people. I just have a habit of taking things for granted, and only talking about what I want to complain about, and lately I've been trying not to, but I've apparently failed. So Robyn: I don't want you to be Evan or Stephanie. I love you just the way you are. Sure, I complain about them alot, but you mean at least as much to me as they do. Just relax, I enjoy hanging out with you for you, I enjoy being around you because you're Robyn; not another Evan or Stephanie. And I'm sorry I ever made you feel like you had to be anything more than you are. And Stephanie. I don't know where to begin with her. I just look at things one way and she looks at them another, and neither one of us are willing to back down, so I just try hard not to say anything until it comes out in a little section I have to cordone off with asterisks. I don't know. It used to make sense. And a lot of the time it still does. But not right now, so I'm not going to get real into my side of things. Suffice to say that I'm just trying to help her, even if I do probably go about it the wrong way. And even if this still bothers me and I'm not sure how to resolve it, I still want to be her friend. The whole situation just makes me really tired. And in shallow news, I missed the bus today. I'm kinda pissed at myself that I keep missing school, especially early on, but this wasn't my fault. This guy usually shows up really late, but today he decides to show up at the time my old bus driver did. I was running a few minutes late but I still should've had more than enough time to get to the bus stop, and I was thinking that as I walked out the door. My exact thoughts were: "I'll be fine, this guy never shows up early. If he shows up early it'll set a world rec-". The cutting off is where I saw him driving past me way up at the end of my street(a 'T' intersection). So today I managed to fill in on my sleep, I'll just leave earlier tomorrow and hopefully I'll make it. And as far as the dentist goes I now have my own personal Dental Hygiene Hobby-Kit; that I have to use twice a day. I'm the least hygienic person I know. I shave once a week, shower once every two weeks, wear the same clothes for days in a row, only brush my teeth once a day(but I do it well, floss and mouthwash and all that); which, by the way; if they weren't so rotten already I'd probably only do once every few days. Hell, I probably smell. And now they expect me to go through this big dental hygiene routine twice a day? Shit. My teeth better get white in a week or I'll... do... something... maybe... That's just the beginning though, we haven't even started on the treatments. The bleaching and straightening(probably braces) not to mention whatever they're going to do to my gums. Despite how dirty I am now, I used to have pretty damn good dental hygiene, and I've undergone treatments before(not braces though), but my teeth still were all rotten and yellow. I don't know why they think this is all going to work, but I'll suffer through it just to shut my mom up. And watch the hundreds of dollars I could've spent on a PA system or bigger amp or accoustic bass go spiraling down the drain, dragging my family's economic situation with it. D'ah. This sucks. Oh well, thanks to Robyn and Steph for still being there for me, no matter how I make them feel.

"Being attractive is the most important thing there is

If you wanna catch the biggest fish in your pond

You have to be as attractive as possible

Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean

Wash it at least every two weeks

Once every two weeks!"

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