"An Ode to No One" 2002-08-12 - 11:18 p.m.

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I had to go home sick from school today. That sucked. I didn't even get to stick around for lunch, I was looking forward to seeing everyone again. If nothing else I had to talk to Evan. And Stephanie, and Robyn. Evan and Stephanie, aside from seeing them just because they're friends of mine, I want to talk to about Pet Smart. I literally got passed over when it came time to hand out jobs to Erin's sister's friends, and I'm looking for a second chance, because I NEED a job, NEED, in big capital letters. And I can't get one on my own outside of fast food. And I swore I'd never go back to that. And as for Evan and Robyn, I'm thinking of reforming the Mole People. Yeah, I know the odds of it happening are slimmer than *insert dumb example here*, but fuck it. I want to play in a band with those two, and if I can't then I might as well just wait until the next city I move to to start one. I'm only staying here until the end of the school year anyway, unless, by some anomally, something happens to make me want to stay. And there's only two things that could make me stay: A girlfriend, or the Mole People. Neither of which are very likely. After I finish this I'm going to e-mail Evan and write a note to Robyn, just so I can get the whole painful process of being refused over with. But in un-dramatic news: I have to readjust my schedule tomorrow. I'm dropping autos and switching my english class. I know I know, autos seems easy and possibly even fun, but I just get so nervous about it for some dumb reason, and I'd rather just drop it and go to a better class rather than get all nervous for no reason every bloody day for something that only seems like it might, just maybe, be fun. And as for English: There's no way in hell I'm going to learn anything in that class. As much as I've been talking crap about Oly lately, it would actually be cool to have class with him, but between the other students in the class and the teacher(and her stupid rules) there's no way I can learn in that environment. And if I don't learn, I don't pass, I don't pass I don't graduate, I don't graduate I don't get the hell out of here. So yeah, I don't know about autos, there's the possibility credit requirements might require me to take it, and I could accept that if I had to, but I'm going to do everything in my power to get out of english. Hell, I'm just switching classes, I can almost definitely do that. The only way I'm not switching is if it comes down to either staying or going to Ms. Minor's class. I'll drop out of school before I have Ms. Minor again. But hell, hopefully I'll be well enough to go to school tomorrow, and I can get all this satisfactorily sorted out, and maybe the planets will align and I'll be able to reform the Mole People. And shit, why not just go all the way and say that I'll meet a girl in one of my new classes and we'll start going out. And then I'd like a PA system, and an accoustic bass, and an editing machine, and then I'd like to use the way-back dial to go back and ...do ...something. I don't know. Fuck, stupid pessimism. Oh well, here it goes, wish me luck.

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