"Porcelina of the Vast Oceans" 2002-08-13 - 6:22 p.m.

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Came home sick from school AGAIN! This sucks ass. I'd just like to get through one fucking day without something on my body going wrong. On the upside I was in school long enough to get my schedule switched. I'm still in the same English class but I managed to drop autos and sign up for Photo Journalism 5th period. So now I have government where autos used to be, so I now have 2 brand-spankin' new classes. Well, I guess one's not brand-spankin', but what're you gonna do? Anyway, I STILL didn't get to hang out at lunch, which sucks. Stupid f'ing being sick. Then I come home and take a nap, and sleep for 3 hours(today, yesterday was 5). It used to be I couldn't fall asleep during the day, no matter how tired I was; and I'd sleep at night. Now I can't fall asleep at night, no matter how tired I am, but I sleep fine during the day after I've come home sick. I'm starting to wonder if my body's making itself sick just so I can get more sleep. I don't know if that's even possible, but it makes sense to me. And then there's my mom. I get sick and she overreacts: "are you ok? Is something wrong at school? Do you think we don't love you? Are you depressed?" And it's funny, this morning my dad actually told me that she though I didn't love him, not both of them. When actually it's closer to the opposite. I love my dad, my mom I'm not sure about. Mainly because she does stuff like this. I get sick and she thinks I'm faking it because I'm having huge psychological problems. But when I'm actually having psychological problems she just wishes I would be more normal. Oh well, I guess she tries, she just doesn't know what she's doing. But oh well, hopefully I'll be better tomorrow. On the other hand I still haven't gotten responses from Evan or Robyn about the band. With Evan the most I'm hoping for is a 'yes' but the most I'm expecting is for him to not get pissed off about me continuing to bug him about it. Robyn I'm not sure what to expect, but I've learned that when it comes to big issues like this it never (ee-ee-eeeeever) works out for me. So if(and probably when) she decides to stick with forming Broadway and Congress, I won't be surprised. But hey, I had to try. Oh well, maybe I'll update again later, even though I've said all I had to talk about.

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