"Love Her Madly" 2002-08-07 - 4:20 p.m.

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hey look, I'm back. My internet was broken for a few days. But now it's fine. I don't even pretend to know how these things work anymore. Another thing I'm not gonna pretend to know how it works is other people. Stephanie locked me out of her diary. I don't know how to respond. She also says that she does care, and that she's not sure if I care. Honestly neither am I. I just don't know anymore. I won't pretend to. But one thing I do know, is how to respond to her statement that: "you just don't fall out of love with people" and that that makes her think I was never in love with her at all. And while I agree with her that you don't just fall out of love with people, the only thing I know for sure, is that I did love her. She would have no way to know I suppose, but I loved her more than anyone or anything else in my life, ever. I know that what I felt was love. The most purest and literal meaning of the word. But she's also right when she's said I've gotten worse. I've just fallen a long way from what I thought I was emotionally. And while I may not be able to figure out how I feel now, I know how I used to feel, and I know I did love her. So yeah, this won't mean anything to anyone. I'll see everyone at school tomorrow, and I can almost guarantee I'll write another entry tonight.

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