"Standing in the Shower... Thinking" 2002-07-09 - 5:30 p.m.

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*sigh*, my world is falling apart. I've hurt my best friend, and possibly ruined our friendship, my band is 'missing and presumed dead', I can't get a job, my family's going poor. I think it's safe to say that my life sucks right now. I've done everything I can; I left Stephanie a note on her diary, and a few entries in mine apologizing and taking my earlier statements back, but she still hasn't responded. I've e-mailed Evan and written entries apologizing to him, he stil hasn't responded. Everywhere I've applied has already hired for the summer, or the ones that are hiring have turned me down. And without a job I can't really do much for my family but suck up more money. I've done everything I can, so I'm left stuck where I am, just being forced to deal with things, and things are sucky. But you know what? Sitting and being depressed about them won't make anything better, it'll just make me feel worse. So I'll put on Jane's Addiction, I'll play Final Fantasy 7, and I'll just take what happiness I can get until things look up. I'll placate myself with the knowledge I've done all I can, and hope that it was enough to at least start things back in the right direction. So world: The ball's in your court, I'll be right here waiting for your next move.

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