"For You" 2002-06-28 - 7:59 p.m.

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This one's for you Evan, I hope to god you fucking read this. I like to think that I'm understanding, I always try to hear both sides of the story before I decide who's right. But from the way this has developed I have to say there's no redeeming factor in your argument. You say you don't want to be unhappy and lie about it to people anymore. SO DON'T!! Problems don't get fixed by letting them sit in your head. You need to talk this shit out, not just up and take off and blame us for not knowing how you feel when you never talk about your feelings. I hope you know that what you did hurt Stephanie. Really hurt her. You fucking prick. Every fiber of my being wants to hurt you ten times worse. So I hope you really do need that time, I hope this is really tearing you up because it should be. You made this fucking situation, and you put yourself in it. And it's not hurting just you, it's hurting all of us. So what if talking about your problems may hurt someone? I think it's been well proven by now that saving them up and letting them fester ends up hurting people far worse later on. And as for the band thing goes, why weren't you having fun? Please, go into detail. All you ever had to do was say you wanted to do something different, and I would've listened, we would've done it, but you constantly let me and whoever the guitarist was walk all over you, then blame us when you're not having fun. Fuck man, I need you. You mean a lot to me, you're a good friend of mine. And a really talented drummer. And even if every one else we knew played drums, I'd still pick you to be in the band. But you don't want that apparently, look, we can change, you don't like Trevor, consider him gone, you want to play a different kind of music, name it. We can make it fun. As much as I'd like to say the door will always be open, sadly, it won't be for long. You NEED to talk to me, we need to get this worked out. But if you don't do it, and you don't do it soon, that door will slam shut, never to open again. What you did to Stephanie was pretty shitty, and what you're doing now is the wrong way to do it. I hate to put you in this position, but you brought it on yourself. If we can't work this out, then I can't talk to you ever again. See, it's not just your life you're playing with, it's mine. My band is the most important part of my life, and despite the fact that I'd pick you if there were lots of drummers, there's not, you're the only one. So if you leave, I'm fucked. And if you fuck me, I won't be held responsible for my actions if I ever see you again. You brought this on yourself. We had some good times man, I enjoyed being your friend and bandmate, I enjoyed playing with you, but if you don't want that, then I don't want you. I hate to put it like this, but that's the way you've made it. Now I need to talk to you in person, I know we can work this out. Sorry if this entry sounded angry, but I think you can understand. You NEED to talk to me, I'm not hard to find.

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