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"Same Shit, Different Day" 2004-04-25 - 2:33 a.m. older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj so I went and saw Kill Bill Vol. 2 again today looooove that movie that's one of the few movies that when I have to pee halfway through, I'll hold it the whole damn time; even through all three versions of the credits didn't see Stephanie though what should I say? for some reason I feel really shitty tonight mostly just lonely I think and dissapointed in myself, and what I'm doing with my life fucking Gabby why did she have to quit? I'm so confident in my band; and so dependant on it for everything and it's just stagnating because we can't find a fucking drummer it's really driving me crazy *sigh* that's not the only problem though just more of the same shit I bitch about constantly "I have no friends" "I have no job" "My band doesn't have a drummer" "I'm so fucking lonely" "my life is going nowhere fast" stupid fucking seratonin levels I don't know sometimes I think, "if I had a choice" y'know? like, if I could choose between imbalanced seratonin levels, with these fucking depressions, and be me or normal seratonin levels, and be a happy, well-adjusted normal kid every fucking time I would choose imbalanced I wonder if before I was created, my soul was put before God, and He asked: "do you want to be tortured and creative, or happy and mundane?" I know I said "tortured" without a second thought I suppose that's being a bit theatrical, but fuck it I've got an overactive imagination I just have to grit my teeth and keep saying: "it'll get better someday, it'll get better someday, it'll get better someday" because if it doesn't, what's the bloody point? I'm going to turn 20 in 6 months, what am I going to do with all this teen angst I've got? Sweet Dreams � � |