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"Grave Flower" 2003-09-05 - 3:33 a.m. older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj "what's your fat ass doing here?" "well he's my only means of conveyance; though I suppose I do spoil him..." "clearly you do" sorry for starting with quotes so often lately, I meant to use that last night but then the Conan with Patton Oswalt came on, and, well... anyway, from now on I'll try and get right to business *snicker* my government lesson finally came back today; which was a relief, since it was taking fucking forever also, I got gas in my car again, and got the application from Barnes & Noble [no 's'] so let's all pray that I get the job apparently the guy checks applications every day, so hopefully mine will be appealing all those doodles I did of ponies and nymphs around the edges should grab his attention in a related story: by some miraculous occurance, I shall have money again tomorrow; and the question of gifts for Robyn comes up [and don't even think of protesting, I'm getting you a gift if I have to throw it through your window attached to a brick at three in the morning] on one hand if I just give her money like I did for Steph-"I don't want anything from anyone"-anie [so sue me, I don't feel like putting her last name] then I'll know she'll get something she wants becuase she'll buy it herself, but money is so cold and not-from-the-heart if I get her a gift, it'll be more heartfelt; but I don't know if she'll like it last year she put a wishlist in her diary, and that was very convenient [wink wink, nudge nudge] but we're all the same, my whole little circle [deteriorated though it may be] when it comes time to receive gifts were all like: "no, don't you dare get me anything or I'll hate you forever" because we have no self esteem and don't feel like we're worthy of receiving gifts but when we have to give gifts, we shift into: "I love you so much that I'm going to give you a gift if I have to cram it down your throat" mode hence the whole brick-ey, threat-ey deal up there so I don't know in other news I wrote another song today just the guitar part I've been doing that alot lately I really like the guitar melodies I'm writing but I can't come up with lyrics all in all I've got about 5 songs that I'm really proud of, and only two of them have lyrics I'm sure if I took the lyrics off some of my other songs I'd like them a lot more which really brings up the question of wether or not I'm qualified to be lead singer again I don't know I want to be lead singer I desperately want to be lead singer but I just don't know if I'm good enough I don't know at the moment it's pretty moot anyway I don't want to try and join/start a band until I get my PA system 'cause I want to sing but if I'm not going to sing do I even need a PA system? if I'm just gonna play guitar I've got all I need I don't know I'll wait until I get some inspiration again, and then see what kinda lyrics I come up with I don't know Sweet Dreams � � |