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"Dirt" 2002-12-08 - 1:13 a.m. older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj I broke down in front of my parents today my mom came home for dinner and asked me if I applied for a job today, I hadn't and reminding me made me all depressed I could barely eat my mom asked me what was wrong so I told her my dad reacted the exact way I knew he would and I just couldn't take it I started sobbing uncontrollably right there the first time I've really cried since my grandmother's funeral 3 years ago I finally got my point across amidst all the tears and it sounds like my family understands and I made my dad promise that if I can't make it back to school for whatever psychological problems I may have, he'll support me but I don't think he will I feel better about it it no longer feels like I'm being strangled constantly but I still don't feel all too optimistic about it I finally hung out with Evan and Stephanie again today it felt good even if Steph didn't call me back met/saw Brittany again she always kind of reminded me of Jessica not 'cause she really looks or acts like her but... I don't know why really she just does yeah, she's cool though smoked about three cigarettes today I think I'm going to keep buying Pall Malls they taste like death and that's why I smoke 'em cigarettes bring me comfort 'cause they remind me I'm dying and because they make me feel like I'm actually doing something to aid the process instead of sitting on my ass and waiting for it to happen yeah, I hope I get to hang out with Brittany again and I'll call Steph tomorrow and hope we can hang out and Stephanie-Seriously, what do you want for Christmas? You were far too nice to me when I was sick for me not to get you something. I have to get you something, so you might as well make it something you want. Everybody wants stuff Sweet Dreams I Have Never Felt Such Frustration Or Lack Of Self Control I Want You To Kill Me And Dig Me Under, I Wanna Live No More One Who Doesn't Care Is One Who Shouldn't Be I've Tried To Hide Myself From What Is Wrong For Me, For Me I Want To Taste Dirty, A Stinging Pistol In My Mouth, On My Tongue I Want You To Scrape Me From The Walls And Go Crazy Like You've Made Me You, You Are So Special You Have The Talent To Make Me Feel Like Dirt And You, You Use Your Talent To Dig Me Under And Cover Me With Dirt -Dirt Alice in Chains � � |