"Far Behind" 2002-09-23 - 10:54 p.m.

older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj

I feel so far away from everyone right now. Right now the galactic drama of Evan and Stephanie plays out; and here I am, unable to comment anymore becuase of my distance from it all. The three of us used to be so close. Now hell if we even say more than "hello" to eachother in the halls at school. I know I bitch about wanting the three of us back together alot, but I really mean it. And I know I was bitching about wanting to be back in the early 90s a lot, but I really mean that too. I find my mind wandering to the comic "House of Secrets"; to Rain and her pals in Seattle. I wish I was there. Living on my own with a bunch of other loser grunge kids trying to get our band famous. With people I'm not attached to; so that it won't hurt so bad when I get left behind. Trevor was depressed today. In art he confessed that he's feeling insecure about how people perceive him. Trevor. Out of all the "freak" kids at CDO I figured he was the only one who was happy; but I guess not. That's depressing. Even happy-go-lucky hippy Trevor has problems. How the hell am I supposed to get by. Whenever I talk to/about Evan or Stephanie anymore, or about their drama, it feels like I'm waving/yelling at them from a distance. "Hey guys, I'm back here!" But they don't care. And I really don't expect them to. They're busy, they've got their own problems. I don't want them to go out of their ways to worry about me. I'd be happier alone than dragging them down. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt to be all the way back here. Quoth the Raven -Nevermore.

Now maybe I didn't mean to treat you bad

But I did it anyway

And not maybe

Some would say your life was sad

But you lived it anyway

And now maybe

Your friends they stand beside they watch you crumble

As you falter to the ground

And now maybe

Your friends they stand beside as you were flying

Oh you were flying oh so high

But then some day people look at you for what they call their own

They watch you suffer

Yeah they hear you calling home

But then some day we could take our time

To brush the leaves aside so you can reach us

But you left me far behind

Now maybe I didn't mean to treat you oh so bad

But I did it anyway

Now maybe some would say you're left with what you had

But you couldn't share the pain

No, no, no

Couldn't share the pain they watch you suffer

Now maybe I could have made my own mistakes

But I live with what I've known

Yes maybe we might share in something great

But won't you look at where we've grown

Won't you look at where we've gone

But then someday comes tomorrow holds a sense of what I fear for you in my mind

As you trip the final line

And that cold day when you lost control

Shame you left my life

So soon you should have told me

But you left me far behind

Now maybe I didn't meant to treat you oh so bad

But I did it anyway

Now maybe some would say you're left with what you had

But you couldn't share the pain

No, no, no

Now maybe I didn't mean to treat you oh so bad

But I did it anyway

No maybe some would say you're left with what you had

But you couldn't share the pain

I said times have changed your friends

They come and watch you crumble to the ground

They watch you suffer

Yeah they hold you down

Hold you down

Maybe brother maybe love I didn't mean to treat you bad

But you left me far behind

Left me far behind

Left me far behind

-Far Behind

Candlebox

�

�